Yoga Teacher Training - Day 5

On the last day of, the first 50 hour training, we were asked about our experience. My response was this: There were times that I really wondered what the hell am I doing here. There were also times that I knew I was in the right place. I learned that yoga is much more than posture practice and that I have been pushing my body through things that it isn't ready for. I learned that I was the youngest person there with the most work to do to correct my body. Part of that work is rolling around on the floor like a baby every morning to reawaken muscles deep inside.

Going to the Circle Yoga Shala is really transformative. Staying on a sustainable farm with compostable toilets and a plethora of "garden food" brought me out of my normal comfort zone and reset my mind. There were times that I had to shut down and be silent to recharge and there were times where I laughed until my stomach hurt.

Part of the training was teaching. The feedback I got from my teaching style is that I have a soothing, calm voice, I am good at teaching inquiry and that I connect to people. My major critique was that I need to be more confident. The thing about being immersed into a studio with yogi's is, you can't fake it.

The next 50 hour session will be in November. My work before November includes fixing my posture, strengthening my shoulder (old injury that never was addressed) and finding my confidence again. Friends, know that you are enough. Inquiry is not to condone or approve of, it is to observe, like science.

Day 1 - Yoga Teacher Training

In the spirit of being authentic, I want to go home. I want my space and what makes me comfortable. To put this in context, after farmers market I go home and sit, in silence. People take a toll on me and I know this about myself. During the next four nights I am sleeping in a room with two other people; constantly around people, energy and noise. I am actually enjoying my finance homework, on the down time, because I can be alone in my head with numbers.

I feel as if I need to have a part of me die so I can learn and grow. I need to learn to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. However, I also want to honor my authentic self. At the same time, I am not sure that I know my true self.

Don't get me wrong, this place is full of love and peace with a lot of good energy. The instructors are so kind and knowledgeable. The other students certainly have a passion for yoga, but I am having a hard time connecting because I just want to be still. I don't want to come off as rude, I am just a reserved person and I don't know how to communicate that.

Today was all about hands and feet as well as the history behind yoga. I taught about hands and feet to a partner and got some great feedback. I am excited to see what tomorrow brings, I just need to push through the doubts. Put one foot in front of the other, take one thing at a time and be present.

I can't wait to share about the farm and the food! Peace be with you my friends.